May 2025

 It feels like I have been so busy, but what I've really been doing is catching up with myself.  

Everything age related has been configured, and all is well in the financial phase of my world.  

So...after almost 4 years after I started out with nothing, living on a shoestring budget, doing without or making do, I have been treating myself to some things I couldn't before.  I got a new set of sheets, a couple of new pillows, some art supplies, a new cat tree for the boys...just a few little nice things we wanted instead of needed. 

I have gone through my closet, and donated a lot of clothes that I can not or will not ever wear again.  I put everything that is too big for me now, or stained or ripped in any way, into the rag bag, to be made into rugs this winter.  

And...I am putting in a transfer to move to the complex in the town where my sister and son live, about 15 mins away from here.  

I was smiling to myself as I made a cup of coffee, feeling grateful for where I was, when a thought came to me, "you are home."  My first thought was about moving, but immediately realized that it didn't matter which "place" I was in.   It is where I am with my soul that makes it home.  

I needed to be here, where I am now, I had to be here on my own, pretty alone, to figure some things out.  After lots of thinking, and following my gut, and time, I'm feeling like it is ok for me to go back there now.  It was my hometown for over 25 years...I am really looking forward to it.

Next I will be going through my dressers, and I foresee a large addition to my junk jar, and more donations going out the door,  The shelf in my closet is another goal.

I've been organizing, so that my upcoming move will be smooth and efficient.  

That's it for now.  My new tablet came today, and I have 3 - 4 projects I'm working on, so 

Play Nice!  xxoo

This and That

 Today is Friday, my favorite day.  My sister and I went to a couple thrift stores, and now I'm home.  I had quite a few things I could have done this morning, but glad I waited for her. 

And...now it's Tuesday.  

I got my paycheck, still messed up a little bit but balancing out.  Another mystery cat litter showed up.  I had a Walmart delivery, the eyes for my alien baby doll showed up yesterday, along with a few other little things I needed...some more little things on their way.  

I have been feeling very good.  Still a little scattered with some of my possessions being held, but in the great scheme of life, they are just things.  Otherwise, I feel I have become quite content with the way my life is going right now.

Honestly, I'm grappling between my heart and mind regarding if I will ever be in a relationship again.  Even will I ever have a "best" friend again?  

For so long, every 11:11 I saw, my wish was "I wish I was alone."  I wonder now if I should have been a little more specific, like, "I wish I wasn't in this relationship anymore."  

Ah well.  Like I said, I am pretty happy with how life is flowing right now.  I feel like I have somewhat of a handle on maybe a little bit of it.  

It would be so nice if someone out of the blue just poofed a few thousand dollars into my checking account, no questions asked.  

I moved some wall art around, so I could display what I call my "Skedaddles." 

That big one was my first "big" one.  Welcome to a glimpse of my homey home.  That's a pretty old secretary desk.  I know the arrangement is wonky, decorating is not my best talent, 

I've gotten a new piece of equipment for burning the big ones.  I found that a lighted magnifying glass helps me so much, but the one I had clamped onto the table, and the gooseneck was limiting, so I got a free standing one.

There is a craft event here in town on May 7th, I might be attending, so I decided to make a big sign.

I've burned a few more big ones, but really waiting on the weather for staining.  It's been super windy, and all that wind blew back in some cold, we're at mid 60's with 12 mph wind which makes it a bit too breezy and chilly for me to be outside very long.  Plus it's very "moist" outside right now, as we are expecting a thunderstorm this evening.  

I have finally come to the realization that I can't and don't have to "fix" everything.  Realizing that people have got to figure things out for themselves, even if it is crystal clear to me.  

My kids are in Berlin for Spring Break.  What a life they are living.  I am really so happy for them, happy for the adventures they go on, how they are a tight tight family...just happy for them.  I miss them, of course, but they really are living a great life.

That's about it, I guess, for now.  The boys are good, Brad is acting like the teenager he is, he and Greg have been playing, and they have been very respectful of the alarm clock lately.  

There is a whole flock of birds out there.

Like a scene from the movie.  

All is Well.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Spring?

 I have lived in Missouri all my life.  I know how Winter's go around here.  I have a feeling that we will have at least 2 more snows, and at least a week of really cold, before Spring arrives for real.  

Or, hopefully, I am wrong, and the way the weather is being manipulated these days, who really knows.

Maybe the Old Farmer's Almanac doesn't "predict" the weather.  Maybe it's just their way of sharing the script with us.  You know the rules, they have to show us what they are doing, but we have to be smart enough to figure it out. 

Last week was Spring, the weekend was winter (even snow), now we're back to the 70's, with the chance of snow tomorrow?  

On another note.  My neighbor has been diagnosed with Cancer.  In her lung.  I have been trying to help by feeding her cat, but he's missing her something fierce.  She says she might be coming home today, but that might be wishful thinking on her part.  

I had some thoughts this morning, about friends and losing them.  Through death or disagreements, so many of my friendships have ended, to the point that I really don't have a "real life" friend group.  I've only known my neighbor for a couple years, we really don't have any memories together, but she's right next door, and she'll be gone pretty soon.  It's a loss.

I can only hope that I had some positive impact or influence on the lives of those that are no longer in mine.  

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. 

The reason is to serve a specific purpose or help you through a particular time in your life.  The seasonal ones are temporary and may last for a shorter period, like a few months or years.  The Lifetime Friends are long-lasting.  They are there for the duration.  

As it turns out, my lifetime friends are also family, which I am very thankful for.  

I have had a few reason friends, and a few seasonal ones.  Those...for me those have usually ended on a sour note.  There just comes a point that sometimes both of us didn't want to be friends anymore, but we had been friends for "so long..."  You know...then feelings get hurt, things are said...and boom, that's it.

Oh dear!  My neighbor just called!  She's coming home today.  She sounds so much better, she told me she had so many infections in her, they finally got her cleaned out.  She still has cancer, but she's not deathly ill at the moment.  

 Awww, in the way that hospitals work, she has to stay in the hospital.  She said they are going to put something in her lungs, either today or tomorrow.  She's pissed.  I'm glad I didn't tell her cat yet.  

That's about it for now.  I'm gonna get to work on a burning.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Monday Monday

A gray day here, blowy and chilly, but in the 40/50s.  I ran a few errands today, paid rent, popped into the grocery store, car wash for quarters, and back homey home.  

One of my neighbors stopped me to ask me about my neighbor, wondering if she's ok because she's been parking weird.  I know she's been sick for a bit, but she and I are both pretty solitary.  

I did send her a text, asking if she was ok over there.  I see her cat out every night, so I know she's at least up and letting him in and out.  She will probably take a while to respond.  

I am calling my first Big Burning finished.  I learned a lot, and am ready to start on Young Son's.

Just checked the weather.  Rain starting tonight, all day tomorrow, then turning to snow Wednesday morning, 1" at least accumulation.  And as I am writing this my gardening next door neighbor is mowing his lawn.  He can't wait to start planting, and the weather last week got us all in the gardening mood.  I knew we were in for some more Winter weather.  I have lived in Missouri my whole life.

My next Big Burning project.

Play Nice!  xxoo

Already March!

 This past week was pretty good.  We were lucky to get some Spring like temps for a few days, even up to 70 degrees on Friday!  Mother Nature does this to us every year, though.  She puts us in an Arctic headlock for a week or two, then trickles in some warmer weather, even flat out right in our faces try to make us believe that Spring has arrived.  

But I've lived in Missouri all my life, and I know her tricks.  

"I saw my first robin!"  Yep, that means within the next 3 weeks we are going to have such a snow storm!  Then it will be too cold to want to go outside for any length of time, but yeah, the days are getting longer, and they are just a little bit warmer every day...

Then here comes April, and maybe even another snow storm.  It's happened before.

But anyway...I learned how to enlarge my patterns for burning, which is very exciting for me!  With this new knowledge I have already started a large burning of my favorite, the jackalope.  

This was taken day 3.  Yesterday was day 4.  

I ran some errands on Friday.  Mary decided to sleep in, so I visited with Young Son, then I went to the lumber store and got a piece of plywood cut into 8 pieces.  Young Son has already commissioned a piece from me, so after that...I don't know what my next project will be.  But I can tell you it will be big!  

A great big milestone this week, I was finally approved for Medicaid!  After working on this for 6 months, I had a nice lady help me and we got it done!  That's quite a blessing and I am so thankful!

I'm going to make my kitchen table area an office.  A trade is planned for my table and bench seating going to a guy that will give me his mom's old desk.  It's fairly modern desk, , and not a big, bulky piece of furniture.  I'll move the computer from the living room to the new office area.  Lots of moving of furn and equipment, slowly but surely I am making this space mine.  

I don't have company.  I eat in the living room at the coffee table.  The only thing I use my table for is as a work space, and I have a folding table under my bed that will take the place of that.  

I ran a couple more errands, then I headed for home, and haven't needed to get out again since.  I like it that way.

Nothing planned for this week coming up, thank goodness!  I can be ready for anything in about 30 mins, though, if something comes up.

Play Nice!  xxoo

Todays Adventure

My adventure out into the world today, I was nervous and paranoid about my keys all day!  To start off, on the way to the next town I had an old guy in a pickup, one of those guys that will pull out in front of you when there is no one behind you, choosing not to wait the extra 5 seconds it would take for you to pass...anyway...yeah...the one that doesn't believe in "jack rabbit" starts, that takes a good mile to get up to speed.  Barely.

We crossed the bridge and there were some highway guys setting up to do some work, this old guy in front of me slowed down to a crawl, like 12 mph, a good 50 yards before we even got close to them, and then almost came to a complete stop right next to them, like he was going to stop and have a chat?

When something like that happens, sometimes I wonder if that has happened to slow me down, to keep something from happening, so I don't get angry.  I do make fun of them to myself and laugh.  

Safely arrived at my first stop, to put some gas in my car.  The gas station was busy with snow coming tonight.  I made one more stop, which went well, then off to Young Son's to drop off a couple sewing cabinets.  I was going to stay for a minute but I just wanted to get what I needed and get back home.  I had two more stops in my town, then I could go home.

That's what I did.  Grabbed some sugar, ice cream and minute steaks at the grocery store, 1 more stop and Finished.  Now I am home for the next few days at least.  

I was so hungry when I got home.  It was 11:00 am, and I was cooking up some spaghetti.  Delicious.

Play Nice!  xxoo

Befuddled

 After yesterday's out of the ordinary occurrence, paying for a locksmith, my piggy bank is feeling the pain.  

And while I know and appreciate the fact that the guy didn't charge me the full amount, the state of the economy is so bad that he HAD to charge me as much as he did, because it is hard out there in the world.  He probably took a loss, and even bought one of my Critters before he left.  I hadn't even taken a pic of it yet!

While pondering this situation, it led me to feeling so grateful.  Had this happened 2 years ago, my car would still be out in the parking lot, with the keys in it, out of gas, until next week at least.  And while my bank account is weak right now, a couple years ago I had .86 in my bank account, no toilet paper, and a week until payday.  I made it then, and I will make it this time.  And the next time, and the next...

I haven't had to ask anyone for financial help for a couple years, either.  Those were mainly moving and setting up house expenses, and all have been repaid.

All of our needs and most of our wants are covered at this time.   We have a warm, loving home, decent neighbors.  I love my kids, my sisters, pretty sure most of them love me.  Young Son checks in with me several times a day, which I do enjoy because we are so alike in our views and humor.  

So...what's done is done.  Lesson learned, new key fobs are on order so I will have a spare.  Locking myself out of my own car should never happen again.

(There is an extra key fob out there,  but I'd rather pay than have to call that person.)

Ok, fresh cuppa here, gonna take the day to try to reconnect with myself, feeling a little off kilter.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Why so strange?

 Gosh.

Today, for the first time in over 30 years, I locked my keys in my car while it was running.  

I was supposed to go to Mary's at noon.  I had a couple errands I wanted to run before, since there is snow coming this weekend, but all morning I felt trepadacious.  I just didn't want to go.  But I talked myself into it, took a shower, even put a little mascara on...had trash to put in the dumpster, a couple things to put in the car, all planned out.  The car started, I turned on the seat heater, then stepped out to load things up...  automatically locking the door as I stepped out.  Didn't even realize until I got to the back of the car and couldn't open it.  

Then the dull thud of realization hit me right in the belly.  You know, I know you know that feeling.

No choice but to call a locksmith.  Luckily he was a decent dude, "cut me a deal."  $130 and an hour later, I have my keys.  Car didn't run out of gas.  

I felt that was a pretty good indicator that I had no business going out anywhere today.  That, and the way I was feeling. 

So...I am home for the weekend.  I have a delivery coming from walmart this afternoon.  Budget is super tight but it's been worse.  

Still better than where I was.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Challenging day

Because it was 40+ degrees today, I decided to go run a few errands, because after today Mother Nature is gonna leave the freezer door open for about 4 days.  I had a couple of  prescriptions to pick up, mailed a couple of Critters to their new homes, and stopped at one other store.  Easy in and outs for all of them.  

I came home and had a cuppa coffee, waiting to pick up my Walmart order, between 3 and 4.

Ok, a few things.  I am a morning person.  I plan my errands in a circle, with the last stop being home, and preferably I am home by noon.  This usually happens.

But I didn't decide to do the Walmart thing until this morning, So I had an afternoon pickup.  I hesitated about driving to town, because my car is telling me that one of my tires is low, so I didn't want to get on the highway.  I asked a local FB group if the outer road was cleared, which was a go.   

So my plan was to run the first set of errands, come home, then head to town later in the day.  I would stop at QT to try to air up my tire, stop at a store, pick up my order at WM and head on home for the next few days.  But it started getting cloudy and I started getting antsy, so I left just a little earlier than I had planned.

For the life of me I can not work that thing to air up the tire.  The store I stopped at, I was in and out in 5 minutes.  Now all I have left is to wait for the WM order.  For over an hour.  

And then...after waiting...my battery was dead.  A girl with a pick up gave me a jump, and I have limped my poor little 43% oil life low tire weak battery little car home...  and like I said, it's gonna be so cold the next few days.  Car is getting a good servicing next week, that's for sure.  I love it, and sure don't want to be without it.

All I wanted was to get my groceries into the house, turn on my coffee pot, and be home.  But, there was Dalane shoveling out my parking spot...like the front of it, where I dont walk, and frowned and gestured at me to stop.  I waited  until she was finished, kinda.  She wanted to dig a walkway, but I asked her not to bother.  

Also, this morning, my darling Brad (who has a very distinct taste for charging cords) knocked my diffuser off the table, to a place that I can't reach without moving The Entire wooden table and connected L-shaped bench.  

Which I did, and also got a few other things that had found there way down in that hidden zone, and converted my old stick vacuum cleaner into a hand held, which I have been meaning to do for days.  Took 5 minutes and a little grunting effort from me.  

In summary...I made it over every obstacle, and of course, thankfully, there was someone to help me when I needed it.  I've said my gratefuls  profusely since I made it home.  

The next few days are stay home days.  I am ready for it.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

I laid a piece of packing paper on the floor.  

The gray one is Greg.  Good Boy Greg.  He is not a good boy, but he leaves the cords alone.

The black one is Brad.  Big Boy Brad.  Besides the cord thing, he's alright.  

Today

  This morning I cleaned out/straightened up my storage closet.  I needed to get the snow shovel out to dig the snow out from my car, so I can back up.  Gonna do Kathy's, too.

I feel really good about the reorganization I did this morning.  I think if I had 5 good size clear totes that I can lift by myself when full, I could make myself feel stupendous!

And after I tackle the dressers (I have 4, mostly storage) and get everything where it should be, I can't even imagine the amount of estatic I will feel.  It's goals, kids, gotta have them!

Play Nice!  xxoo

Edit:  Went out to do the shoveling, but I am too weak for that.  Then I got my mail, said hey to the "group" at Pam's, dropped a couple purses off at the office, I don't want them.  Lost my keys, found them, was spoken to very sharply by Dalane, not once but twice.  That's whatever, doesn't affect me at all.  Found out that Kathy had a relative come shovel her out yesterday, so good for her.  

Sunday, January 12, 2025

 I've been very pro-active in my life.  I am taking care of business, learning, growing, and feeling more confident every day.

We had a terrible ice and snow storm last weekend.  I was prepared and was able to stay in and be safe, until it was more feasible to get out.  I ran a few errands, after my neighbor and I worked for over an hour to get the ice off the windshield wipers.  Then she actually had to push me backwards to help be get out of the parking spot.  It was bad.  When I got home my car told me that my left front tire is low...so looks like I'll be replacing a couple of tires in a couple weeks.  Gotta keep that thing rolling, it's a very good car.  

Today I got up at my normal time, had a shower, had some coffee, did my morning chores, sorted clothes and made my way to the laundry room.

Let me backstory here a sec...the laundry room at the complex is in a sad state of disrepair, with a whole bunch of ineptness being allowed to happen.  Half the equipment is broken, all of it is old, the repair company keeps "ordering the wrong parts" and we are all sick of it.  

I even took my laundry to a laundromat a couple weeks ago, to see if it was any better.  Nope.

Double cost for washer, runs 10 minutes shorter, and the dryers are .25 for 5 minutes.  The heck with that.  

I brought home wet clothes and had to hang everything up here all over the place, it for sure wasn't worth it.

I got lucky, I got to the empty laundry room, did my laundry without interruption, and was home before noon.  Before church let out. Even though the majority of us are retired, it just seems to be laundry day for a lot of people.  Me included.  I don't know why.  I can go any day of the week.  I think that is leftover from my working days.  Sunday was always laundry day, so everybody had clean clothes for the week.  I still have the same mindset, I guess.  

Anyway...

I had a thought come to me while we were snowed in those few days.  I love to be home.  It is my favorite place to be, but while we were snowed in, it felt a little stifling.  I was doing what I love, but it wasn't by my choice.  Yes, I chose to stay in and stay safe, but there really wasn't any other option.  And there at the end of it, I felt the dread of getting out to get some things we needed, knowing I had to, and knowing it was going to be a big chore to even start... but, I did it, with some help, and I am going to be good here for a few days, until I can figure out exactly what I am going to do about my tires, then get those arrangements made. 

Living alone has been so good for my soul.  I really feel that I am shedding some "old skin" and becoming that girl that's been in there all along.  I can feel my tastes changing, the way things have been are slipping away.  

My dad always used to say, "Wantin' and gettin' are two different things."  True.  Right now in my head the phrase goes, "Wanting and Needing are two different things." 

There are things I want, some that I will get, based on priority and necessity.  There are things I need, that I make sure I have.  I have one Want that is a Need, that I have no idea what to do about. 

Young Son checks on me a few times a day.  I'm grateful for that.  

The Germany kids got their Christmas presents from me.  They all seemed pleased.  Darlin' Danielle sent me a couple videos, so I got to see their real reactions.  I love that.  Except for SIL.  I booby-trapped his gift, but they didn't video it, or even mention it.  Weirdos.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

This is a picture I took of my computer. 

Looking at a webcam that is right by the highway 

that I can hear from my apt.  

It's close.  

I didn't see any wrecks, but the traffic was minimal.  

Everyone was staying in.  

Worst storm in 32 years, they say.