Today has been such a good day already, and it's not even noon.
As I was getting dressed this morning, I glanced over at my dresser. That's where I display all my family photos, my kids, g-kids, and those that have passed. I was filled with such a feeling of love when I realized that every single person in those photos really love and loved me. It took my breath for a moment. Then, I put my hand in my pocket and found 4 very shiny pennies. Very rarely do I carry cash or change with me. So, Pennies from Heaven, right? I had to run an errand, and when I was getting out of my car, I saw a couple of pennies in a cup holder. Again, I don't carry cash.
As I got home, I heard thunder, and we actually did get some rain. Still gonna get hot this afternoon, but the rain shower was nice.
And now for some weirdness...
I received a friend request from someone that I had been friends with before, but apparently I had or had not done something, she got angry, called me a name, and we stopped talking. (I am never one to plead my case, a firm believer in letting go.) I thought we both knew the friendship had run it's course, but, here's this request out of the blue. Receiving this request, with no words, made me take a step back. I can't describe the feeling of dread that I felt.
I wondered if she'd been hacked? So I sent a one word reply: "Why"?
A day later, I got a response from her: "Isn't it time?"
(What? There was a time limit? An expiration date? Who set that? )
Her last word to me was calling me a name. Over a year later she's saying it is time? No apologies? Nothing but a blank friend request. Like it’s something I’ve been waiting for?
We were friends during the time leading up to my life exploding. She was a steady rock that listened to me. Back then I was a timid, scared, weak alcoholic, living with a narcissist that was slowly but surely beating me down mentally and emotionally, and my physical health was a mess. I was taking 6-8 pills a day, had a heart attack, among other ailments.
She was on the phone with me when he was being taken away in handcuffs for pointing his shotgun at me. At her request, I jumped in my car and went to her. But I really wasn't welcome, and I didn't think I had anywhere else to go, until she told that I should have told her I was an alcoholic, (I honestly thought she knew) and that I needed to go home. I had to pretty much barge into my sister's house until I got a place of my own.
We remained friends, but it wasn't the same. Then when I started the process of getting sober (2 years and counting), getting my own place, and trying to figure out what the heck was going on, that's when she got her feelings hurt, I assumed it was because I was getting strong and didn't "need" her as much, but really didn't know. All I knew was that she didn't care for me anymore
So, I thought about what to respond to her. I wanted to tell her so many things, but my reply to her was, "I don't know why you would think that. No." I sent it and I blocked her.
My purpose in life right now is to heal old wounds, not reopen them.
The End of that Story. Literally
And the other great thing that happened...may sound silly, but here goes. I don't know how far I live from the highway that runs through here, but close enough that I can hear it, and I find it comforting. I've been looking for a web cam that shows this stretch of highway that I can hear and I finally found it today.
Still not noon. Still time for more cool things to happen today!
Play Nice! xxoo
