Almost Christmas

Today is Wednesday.  My sister took the night off from work to go see her grandson's last 8th grade basketball game.  I don't drive at night, so she's picking me up at 4:00, game is at 5.

I'm so worried about her, with her daughters being such bitches to her.  

Today is Sunday, the 21st.  I've made the decision to move back to Harrisonville.  I am going to put the application in tomorrow.

While I love this place, and the location, I seriously do need to be in the same town as my sister and my son.  While in the beginning I needed the solitude and distance, now I'm starting to feel a little homesick.  

My insurance should all be in place by the beginning of the year, that will be a big relief.  

I don't know how long it will take for a unit to become available, but I'm gonna start saving for the move right away.  And I don't think I am going to be purchasing anything else for this place to make it feel more like home, because it already feels a little different, knowing that this is now temporary.

 I'll have everything organized and sorted and packed, so the move with be a quick and easy one.  I'll rent a U-Haul and get some of my boys to help.  

So, I'll close for now, Merry Christmas the next couple of days.  

Play Nice!  xxoo

Sunday

This morning I got up, started the coffee pot and got in the shower.  I haven't done that on a day I'm not going anywhere for a long time.  I'm wearing my favorite sweat pants, which are now like clown pants since I have lost so much weight.  I attribute that to a few things.  Not drinking alcohol is the biggest one.  Not eating fast food or drinking sodas are big factors as well.  I don't eat many big meals, rather I graze throughout the day. Trying to keep healthier snacks in the house, but here in America, nothing is healthy.

I've been selling quite a few of my Critters, I'd honestly like to sell at least a couple more before Christmas, there's always hope.  My creativity has been a little slack, so I've decided to work more on marketing the Critters I have than try to create more at this time.  

 I've been hanging with Mary quite a bit, she's so strong but so frail at the same time.  I worry about her.  Samantha and Rylee are the absolute worst, and if I outlive Mary I will be damn sure to let them both know just how much they hurt her.  I promise, they will not to get off guilt free.  They are hurting her so badly, I can't even imagine, no matter how hard I try...because I can't ever imagine my kids turning their backs on me...sadly, this isn't surprising behavior from hers, though.

I'm still enjoying my solitary life.  I've been thinking about my past relationships lately, and have come up with some what I think are sad realizations.

I've been married 3 times, but never properly proposed to.  Never even asked, really.  Twice it was more of a suggestion, and once I was handed a business card to a jewelry store, intended for me to assume I was going to get a diamond ring.  Unfortunately, he requested the card back the next day.  We still got married but it only lasted a few months.

I have never been pursued.  I always made myself available to the one that I had chosen.

I am hoping that this new me, the real me, will be lucky enough to have some of those moments.  I think my soul will be sorry if we don't, I think that's what it truly wants to experience.