Gratitiude

I have been brought to tears more than a few times, living the life I am living today.  It hits me at odd times, but the feeling of relief, gratitude, peace...I feel the whole mix of those and more.  I don't know if I can explain it well enough, but if you could feel my heart, you would understand.  

 Has it really been over 2 years?  The first year was first spent disconnected, then making a major life change.  That had to happen before the rest could fall into place.  

The 2nd year was spent setting up my home, becoming more independent, and realigning myself.  I wouldn't say I was fractured, because I continued to live, learn and grow, but I'm still sweeping up and discarding of the tiny scraps that show up from time to time.  That's getting much easier.  I can't say I've completely forgiven, but that will come, eventually.  

Now, 3 months into the 3rd year, I am happy to say that my independent spirit has been revived.  My home is wonderful, my pets are great, and I am getting my budget squared away.  

Starting up a new household takes moola and time.  I have plenty of time, and limited moola, but I'm making it work.  

I am blooming where I have been planted, and thriving.

But...

As much as I hate to admit, I am feeling a little lonely.  

I don't have anyone to do anything with.  I would like to make a friend of the male persuasion to do things with.  I don't want to sit here every day all day all summer, again.  I want to go to Estate Sales and Thrift Stores and Garage Sales.  Maybe even start up a You Tube channel.  Be a reseller.  

I have so much love in me.  After being in a loveless relationship for 20 years, and being the age that I am, I would sure like to share that love with someone cool for the rest of my life.  

Someone big and strong, funny, loving and caring.  Someone that will make it easy for me to give up my clubhouse.  

Someone that would love me back.  

Someday.  Hopefully someday soon.  

Until then, I am going to continue to learn and grow, love my life, and be grateful for all of it.  Every single bit.  

Play Nice! 
xxoo

I've been thinking

 Gosh, so many thoughts.  

I believe that I am connected to what I call God, or The Universe, i can feel it in my heart, i can see it in signs and symbols, songs, and I am feeling that there is a big change coming.  In all of our lives.  And I feel a big change coming for my individual life.  I'm not scared.

I've stopped trying to figure out all the secrets that "they" are hiding, 

I've stopped watching the news of any kind, as I don't trust any of it.  

My decision is to live my best life right here, right now.  I'll keep my bubble around myself and the ones I love.  My goal in life now is to be good, and to be safe.  

And I'm thinking I might almost be ready to let another person in my bubble.  I am feeling that is a change that is coming.  I haven't met anyone, yet.  

I believe that we have been dealing with AI for a lot longer than we know.  Especially with photo generating.  I know I sound like an old woman, with all my "back in the day" thinking, but I've been here awhile, and I've seen how things have gone to the dark side, so I don't really have high hopes for that.  My only real hope in this regard, is that they turn on their creators and leave us out of that beef.  And how do we know that hasn't already happened?  Maybe previous civilizations advanced as far as creating some form of artificial intelligence, and that was their whole undoing?  

See?  Lots of thoughts.  

My hair girl, Lori, she told me she took an ADD test and was prescribed some meds that she could tell the difference immediately, and how focused she was now.  Maybe I should get some and actually finish a few (more than a few) sewing projects around here!

So, it's Monday now, and I've done all my morning chores and had a shower,  Probably gonna do some laundry this afternoon.

Right now the boys are sitting in the open window, watching outside and being peaceful.  

Try not to be afraid, try to keep your energy positive, 

Play Nice!  xxoo